Love is not a feeling, it is a verb. Love is not stagnant, nor is it guaranteed. Love lives in our behavior toward one another, moment by moment.
Love is a choice we make, again and again, to support, honor, and accept our partner fully, just as they are.
This philosophy, rooted in Imago Relationship Theory, outlines a developmental arc common in long-term relationships:
What is the key to reaching real love in a relationship? Learning to view conflict as purposeful and transformational, not destructive.
When couples transform together, they embrace five key steps:
There’s a ripple effect. When healing happens at home:
A conscious relationship is more than a source of personal healing—it is a catalyst for collective transformation. When we choose to love as a verb and to act with care, curiosity, and compassion, we create a sacred space between us where healing can begin.
When we create that space, the wounds of our past are met with empathy, not defense. We are invited to grow beyond the limits of our individual selves and into a partnership that fosters mutual growth and radiates outward into the world.
When two people learn to hold differences with love, safety, and wonder, they model what is possible—not just for themselves, but for families, communities, and our shared human future. Love is not only the destination, love is the path. And walking love together, we become the change in our world.
For 30 years, we’ve been honored to help couples in workshops and in therapy with tools from "Getting the Love you Want" and "The Space Between." We’ve worked with couples on the brink of divorce to help them transform their relationship into a spiritual journey of couplehood. This journey embraces the purpose of conflict, fosters deeper connection, and supports healthy, thriving love in all relationships.
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt offer in person, retreat and virtual workshops-transformative experiences that guide couples through core practices of Imago Relationship Therapy—including creating emotional safety, communicating with empathy, turning conflict into connection, and reigniting intimacy through shared growth.
If you and your partner are struggling to connect on the true meaning of love, Imago Relationships Therapist are here to help with Relationship Therapy and Relationship Workshops wherever you are.
Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Educational Webinars.
This blog was written by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., are internationally celebrated relationship experts, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they’ve authored over 10 transformative books—including the iconic Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, Keeping the Love You Find, Giving the Love That Heals, The Space Between, and Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between—with more than 4 million copies sold worldwide.
Despite their expertise, Harville and Helen faced their own relationship struggles. After a decade of marriage, they found themselves on the verge of divorce. In a final effort to reconnect, they applied the very methods they had been teaching—transforming their conflict into connection. This healing journey became the basis of Imago Relationship Therapy, now practiced globally in over 51 countries by 2,000+ trained professionals.
Their passion for relational wellness expanded into the creation of Quantum Connections™, a global social movement designed to equip individuals with tools to communicate without criticism, listen without judgment, and connect beyond differences.
As co-founders of Imago Relationships International and Quantum Connections™, they are on a mission to create a more relational world—at home, in communities, and across cultures. Harville and Helen live in Dallas, Texas, where they continue to teach, write, and innovate. With their AI-powered Legacy Twins, they are now making their life-changing Dialogue Process accessible to anyone, anywhere.
Join them in healing relationships, healing families, and healing the world—one safe conversation at a time truly enjoy helping others to heal, grow, develop a heightened state of well-being and create more love and peace in their lives.