Habits in a relationship can be particularly frustrating. Look at your partner with fresh eyes - see them as they are today, not last month, last year, or 15 years ago. Who are they right now? Coming with a fresh perspective can often break our habits in a relationship.
Asking your partner the same question every day “How was your day?” can elicit the same response, sometimes not even words but a grunt “Hmph.” Ask “What made you smile today?” “Who had the funniest joke at work today?” “What was particularly hard about your day?
Start small - change doesn’t often occur overnight, so be patient with yourself as you go through the process of breaking habits. Set small relationship goals each day and build on those.
Understanding - why you have the habit and what purpose has served and does it serve for you today.
Context - is there an area in your life where the habit shows up the most? Do you find yourself self-soothing with this habit in emotional triggers around anxiety, fear, anger or more?
Rubber band effect - accept that you might regress and then reboot and begin on your path again, much like you reboot a computer and begin the repetition, practice, and focus again till it feels more natural.
Seek help when needed- don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling with breaking habits.
Imago Relationship professionals will help you break free from a variety of habits, especially habits that are formed in our relationships. We’re here to help.