If you want to improve your relationship, one cardinal rule to follow is - don’t expect your partner to read your mind. This seems obvious, right? But many people operate this way, in an unconscious manner, almost daily.
Why is this a problem? Because most of us fail at mind-reading (or fail to succeed consistently) which leads to lots of problems:
- Misunderstandings
- Disappointments
- Resentment
- Stress
- Disconnection
Expecting our partner (or parent, child or friend) to meet our needs without even asking, can also keep us personally unaware of our expectations and prevent important conversations about each other’s ideas, feelings, wants, needs and priorities.
Read More
Topics:
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Emotional Intelligence,
Imago Relationships,
therapy,
Couples Retreat,
Getting the Love you Want
Most people describe a committed love relationship consisting of two people. But we define a love relationship as "two people plus the Space-Between them.”
This Space-Between is a core theme in our work with couples. But, what is it and how does it help guide you and your partner to create a conscious, thriving relationship?
It may look like there isn’t anything between you and your partner. But there is. Consider outer space. Our universe is filled with stars, planets, meteors, and comets. We used to think the space between these celestial objects was empty. But, astronomers have proven that the dark space isn’t empty at all.
The dark space is filled with gravitational pull and energy fields that actually hold the planets in their orbits. Just because something is not visible with the naked eye doesn’t mean it’s not there. The intangibles, in fact, are often the invisible glue that holds it all together.
Read More
Topics:
Managing Conflict,
Marriage Issues,
Appreciation and Gratitude,
Eliminating Negativity,
Couples Therapy,
Imago Relationships,
couples workshop,
therapy
Relationships can be difficult to navigate. There is a great deal of passionate emotion stirring around our souls when our relationships are not sailing along smoothly. Relationships in recovery are even more tricky. Not only is the relationship often in stormy seas, but it's also as if the person in recovery is steering two ships—that of their recovery, and that of their relationship.
By using a few navigational tools for our relationships we can ensure all the people in our lives are on the same boat and steering toward the same goal: peaceful, loving, joyful and clean-living relationships.
Read More
Topics:
Healthy Relationships,
Breaking Habits,
Couples Therapy,
couples workshop,
therapy,
Relationships in Recovery
Anxiety is a normal human occurrence, and part of the challenge is to understand and accept that anxiety is normal. We tend to panic about panic!
In this Blog you'll discover many effective tools and practices to help you feel less anxious, and feel more peaceful and empowered. It's a necessity to put energy and consistent effort into practices to help you manage your anxiety. If we don’t practice, our brain stays the same and we remain the same.
I recently read a quote from HEADSPACE which said, “It’s amazing to think how much time we spend looking after our physical health and how little we spend looking after the health of the mind.” I find this true for many people. However, I'm one of those people who has chosen to place a lot of time and energy into feeling better. My favorite tool is journaling. Consistent use of journaling has changed my life, and I use others as well. I'm hoping you'll also find tools that help you on your journey to managing anxiety well.
Read More
Topics:
Panic Attacks,
Anxiety,
Self Care,
Stress Relief,
Mental Health,
Mental Fitness,
Imago Relationships,
Self Trust,
Self Love,
Breathing Techniques,
Self Esteem,
therapy
There’s a brave new world for parents and therapists to navigate as they understand changing labels for teens regarding gender identity and sexual identity.
Read More
Topics:
Sex Myths,
Managing Conflict,
Healthy Relationships,
Anxiety,
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Gender Bias,
Emotional Connection,
Gender Identity,
Sexual Identity,
Teen Sexuality,
Teenagers,
therapy,
family therapy
Considering divorce? It’s understandable.
You've experienced relationship struggles, and it's become a frustrating place to live. Your partner is obviously capable of showing generous love to the dog or cat as you witness the affection you long for. You can't remember the last time your partner asked about you, your day or expressed any interest in any aspect of your life. It’s been years since you fell in love and now, at best you feel like you’re living with a roommate, and at worst, you’re “sleeping with the enemy”.
Read More
Topics:
Healthy Relationships,
Conflict Resolution,
Marriage Issues,
Appreciation and Gratitude,
Finding Love Again,
Forgiveness,
Relationship Therapy,
Couples Therapy,
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Imago Relationships,
Relationship Vision,
Intentional Dialogue,
Celebrate the Differences,
Defense Mechanisms,
Divorce,
couples workshop,
therapy
Does it sometimes feel like you and your partner are doing a dance and stepping on each other’s toes? Are you feeling frustrated by your partner and getting in conflicts?
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why is my partner doing things that make me so annoyed?" What you might be surprised to learn is that what annoys you about your partner actually says more about you than him.
Read More
Topics:
Managing Conflict,
Happy Relationships,
Breaking Habits,
Appreciation and Gratitude,
Finding Love Again,
Couples Therapy,
Self Care,
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Imago Relationships,
Relationship Vision,
Emotional Connection,
Adulting,
Self Trust,
Self Love,
Defense Mechanisms,
couples workshop,
therapy
What does eroticism mean? The Center for Erotic Intelligence defines eroticism as “the interplay of desire and arousal with the daily challenges of living and loving,” and describes the five main elements of erotic intelligence as:
- Body attunement
- Social intelligence
- Emotional intelligence
- Self-awareness on steroids
- Creative imagination
Read More
Topics:
Healthy Relationships,
Finding Love Again,
Relationship Therapy,
Couples Therapy,
Self Care,
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Male Sexuality,
Eroticism,
Body Image,
Erotic Intelligence,
Sexual Desire,
Sexual Trauma,
Erotic Language,
Sexual Communication,
Emotional Connection,
Female Sexuality,
couples workshop,
therapy
As an Imago therapist, I often see couples struggling in the area of connecting vs. communicating with each other. Communication can be very different from connecting with your loved ones if you are not in a conscious relationship.
In a recent conversation I had with
Harville Hendrix
he shared his insight on the topic. I understood Harville to say that
couples come into therapy
hoping to improve their communication skills when what they
really want is to improve their connecting
skills.
Read More
Topics:
Healthy Relationships,
Relationship Therapy,
Couples Therapy,
Healthy Connection,
Healthy Communication,
Human Connection,
Imago Relationships,
Relationship Vision,
couples workshop,
therapy
Is anything more painful than betrayal? Perhaps not, at least on the topic of relationships. Though common (one fourth to one half, depending on who you ask), this type of rupture is excruciating, and often fatal to the relationship.
Most often, the betrayal seems insurmountable at first. Reactions are understandably strong and absolute; e.g., “I could never be with you again”. “I will always be angry and resentful”.
Healing and recovering from an affair does take time, but it is possible if both people are willing to do the work. How long it takes depends on a number of variables, but I have found on average that two years is a fair estimate. Obviously, for some, it takes longer, and others dig deep and work it out sooner. Much of it depends on motivation and willingness to listen and understand.
Read More
Topics:
Marriage Issues,
Finding Love Again,
Forgiveness,
Relationship Therapy,
Couples Therapy,
Recovering from an Affair,
couples workshop,
therapy
