We all go through phases in our relationships, and little things can get on our nerves after a while.
Did they forget to load their dishes in the dishwasher? Did they forget to call when they were late for dinner? Or, around the Holidays... Maybe they haven't offered to help purchase holiday gifts or help cook the big holiday meal?
These little things can add up and irritate you, especially when you're busy with work, errands, to-do lists, family responsibility, and more.
It's normal to go through relationship phases. However, it's how you move through the little annoyances and back into being deeply connected is what matters most.
In the book Love Cycles The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love, Linda Carroll discusses the importance of practicing daily loving behavior to connect deeper with our partners. She writes about the concept of being of service to your partner's soul and how it will help us heal, grow and become more capable in our relationships.
It can be a shift to think about serving your partner's soul vs. being irritated at them for leaving dishes in the sink. Right? The author shares that practicing loving acts toward your partner each day can put you both in service toward each other.
If this concept feels too far-reaching for you right now, try to think about it as an opportunity to begin to turn your negative thoughts around.
These steps will help you begin to refocus on why you truly love your partner. Shifting your thoughts just might help you remove the annoyances and fall in love all over again. Give it a try with these four steps.
What to Do When Your Partner Annoys You
Take 5-10 Minutes to Reminisce About the Beginning of Your Relationship and Reimagine
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What emotions did you feel on those very first dates with your partner?
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What was the exact moment you knew they were the one?
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What were the first few years like as you explore life together as a couple?
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What fun experiences did you have together?
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What scary experiences did you have together?
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How did you care for one another during good and bad times?
Locate a childhood photo of your partner - one that is truly adorable.
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Carry your partner's photo with you in your wallet or your car. Or, even post it on your social media and read all the sweet comments. Try it for one solid week.
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Focus on how you feel when you reimagine your partner, the person you fell in love with as a younger person starting in life.
Make a list of the most caring things your partner has ever said or done.
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This list could be actions for you. Or maybe for your mother, your children, your neighbors, and your co-workers.
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Does he help your elderly neighbor carry in her groceries?
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Does he answer the phone when your mother calls and talks to her for 20 minutes?
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Does he offer to pick up the kids from their activities?
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Does he encourage you to enjoy time with your friends?
Change your perspective: List the Ways you Might be Annoying to Your Partner.
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How has your partner shown forgiveness?
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How has your partner shown patience?
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How has your partner shown acceptance?
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How does your partner accept your little quirks?
By going through these steps, do you have a clearer picture of your relationship? Do you feel annoyed by your partner now? Or, could you be focusing on yourself a bit more?
Making the time to reimagine your partner will ensure your relationship is what you truly want and will fill you both with more appreciation and joy!
Take Action and Start Today
If it's overwhelming to make the transition to all four steps, then select one step to lift you both up. Hopefully, this will be the start of the new normal for you and your partner as you move forward on your relationship journey and begin to grow closer.
If you need more help with forgiveness, patience, and acceptance in your relationship, we're here to help. Check out our Imago Relationship workshops and therapy.
Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training and Imago Insights Education.
