Communication is, at its essence, shared understanding. So it makes sense that, if you and your spouse have different understandings of key terms related to marriage, your communication will suffer.
Here’s some tips I often use to help couples in my counseling practice bridge the communication gap. Try it and see how it works for you and your partner.
Ever wonder why some of your apologies fall flat and you’re not forgiven?
Ask yourself… Did you really own it? Or, did you do some of the following?
Did you ever notice that when you get triggered by your partner, you start blaming, denying, and defending? Or, even exhibiting tantrums? Well, as soon as you do, your partner meets you at that place and raises you. It’s not your fault, this is a strong brain habit. So much so, the science says that being grabbed by this part of the brain takes less than a blink of the eye. This reactive behavior is called our Toddler Brain, and if you’ve seen any toddlers in your life, you know why.
So while we don’t want to shame ourselves for acting this way, it’s the bias of our fight or flight brain, if we want our relationship to stay connected, safe, and loving, we have to learn how to access our adult brain at the moment of stress. The good news is that we can, and when we do we feel so much better about ourselves.
Topics: Managing Conflict, Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Happy Relationships, Emotional Safety, Appreciation and Gratitude, Forgiveness, Self Care, Stress Relief, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Connection, Adulting