It is essential that we act in ways that are loving toward our partner. That’s a given. But, what happens when we try to be loving, and our efforts are rejected, or dismissed?
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Topics: Healthy Relationships, Happy Relationships, Appreciation and Gratitude, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Human Connection, Imago Relationships, Relationship Vision, Emotional Connection, couples workshop, Getting the Love you Want, Receiving Love
Sex - where did it go and why?
What the heck happened to us?? We used to have sex so much more, and now . . . .
The sexual connection in many a relationship is the first to founder under any stress or tension. Couples find themselves bickering. They enjoy each other's company less. And they don't make the connection that their lackluster sexual activity is a huge part of the problem.
Many people with a healthy level of desire find themselves more irritable and prone to temper flare-ups when they’re sexually frustrated. A malaise sets in, having an insidious effect on the overall relationship. At best, relationships become more like business partnerships. Or one in which partners are often in each other's presence, but not connecting with each other.
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Topics: Healthy Relationships, Healthy Connection, Male Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, Imago Relationships, Sexual Desire, Sexual Trauma, Erotic Language, Sexual Communication, Emotional Connection, Female Sexuality, Self Love, Getting the Love you Want
Look more carefully at your default responses to life's invitations for growth.
My best guess is that 99% of you reading this will answer the question of this title in the affirmative. Of course, I’m saying “yes” to life. Why wouldn’t I?
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Topics: Healthy Relationships, Appreciation and Gratitude, Eliminating Negativity, Forgiveness, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Imago Relationships, Emotional Connection, Defense Mechanisms, personalgrowth
If you want to improve your relationship, one cardinal rule to follow is - don’t expect your partner to read your mind. This seems obvious, right? But many people operate this way, in an unconscious manner, almost daily.
Why is this a problem? Because most of us fail at mind-reading (or fail to succeed consistently) which leads to lots of problems:
- Misunderstandings
- Disappointments
- Resentment
- Stress
- Disconnection
Expecting our partner (or parent, child or friend) to meet our needs without even asking, can also keep us personally unaware of our expectations and prevent important conversations about each other’s ideas, feelings, wants, needs and priorities.
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Topics: Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Imago Relationships, therapy, Couples Retreat, Getting the Love you Want
How to cope with the realization that you may be like the parent who hurt you.
Are you like the person who most hurt you growing up?
Most of us carry some form of injury from one or both of our parents. For some of us it’s on the more serious side of the continuum: We were physically abused, sexually molested, or seriously neglected.
For others, the injury was more subtle but left its mark nevertheless, taking root in our internal narrative and causing us to make internal oaths not to be like one or the other of our parents when we grow up and have children ourselves.
Our parents were either too strict or not strict enough, they overcontrolled us or didn’t seem to pay attention to what we needed, they lived in their own private world or tried to live their lives through us.
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Topics: Managing Conflict, Family Culture, Healthy Relationships, Happy Relationships, Appreciation and Gratitude, Eliminating Negativity, Forgiveness, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Imago Relationships, Emotional Connection, family therapy
Here's your Monthly Digest packed full of amazing Imago Relationship Blog posts and Relationship Tips.
Be sure to Subscribe to both and share the love!
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Topics: Managing Conflict, Family Culture, Healthy Relationships, Happy Relationships, Resolve Conflict, Marriage Issues, Emotional Safety, Appreciations, Appreciation and Gratitude, Relationship Therapy, Couples Therapy, Self Care, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Human Connection, Mental Health, Monthly Digest, Imago Relationships, Couples Quality Time, Relationship Vision, Emotional Connection, Empathy, Holiday Fun, Holiday Stress, couples workshop, Couples Retreat, Relationships in Recovery, Getting the Love you Want
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but let’s be honest: words hurt, too.
Even after years of a marriage where you and your partner are completely open and honest with each other, it’s still wise to set some boundaries and refrain from using words and phrases that may hurt your relationship.
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Topics: Healthy Relationships, Marriage Issues, Eliminating Negativity, Couples Therapy, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Imago Relationships, Relationship Vision, Intentional Dialogue, Emotional Connection, couples workshop
Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. – Johnny Carson
Yes, Thanksgiving is right around the corner. For many, this thought is mixed with anxiety. As in, “oh boy, what will happen this year”?
Why does he always have to talk politics, knowing someone will be insulted? Why can’t we just get together, you know… to be *thankful*?
Oh the irony of a holiday called Thanksgiving that also somehow brings out the worst in a family. Why is this? And perhaps more importantly, what can we do about it?
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Topics: Healthy Relationships, Appreciation and Gratitude, Forgiveness, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Imago Relationships
Here's your Monthly Digest packed full of amazing Imago Relationship Blog posts and Relationship Tips.
Be sure to Subscribe to both and share the love!
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Topics: Managing Conflict, Family Mission Statement, Family Culture, Healthy Relationships, Happy Relationships, Marriage Issues, Breaking Habits, Emotional Safety, Appreciations, Appreciation and Gratitude, Finding Love Again, Relationship Therapy, Couples Therapy, Self Care, Stress Relief, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Human Connection, Mental Health, Digital IQ, Monthly Digest, Imago Relationships, Couples Quality Time, Relationship Vision, Intentional Dialogue, Emotional Connection, Self Love, Defense Mechanisms, Divorce, Holiday Fun, Teenagers, couples workshop, family therapy
As an Imago Therapist, I often hear clients express their concerns about their partner's behaviors during moments of conflict. One partner might be fully bothered by the fact their partner seems to shut down, while another client might hate the fact their partner overreacts and takes things "the wrong way."
As one client recently summed it up, "The problem with my wife is, she’stoo defensive! I say one thing and she acts like I just about killed her." Interestingly, this man's wife saw the issue as her husband beginning to withdraw again. As she puts it, "He never wants to talk. If I tell him I want to have a conversation he gives me the "Am I in trouble?" look and seems to slink away."
What's truly bothering each person in this relationship, is the defense that their partner presents in a response to THEM!
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Topics: Managing Conflict, Happy Relationships, Marriage Issues, Emotional Safety, Relationship Therapy, Couples Therapy, Healthy Connection, Healthy Communication, Relationship Vision, Intentional Dialogue, Defense Mechanisms, couples workshop