When most people are asked to describe what cheating would look like in their relationship the first thing that comes to mind is an extramarital affair. But there are a number of ways you can cheat your partner out of genuine intimacy without ever having an affair.
As a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist I am all too familiar with the importance of "closing the exits" in your marriage. Affairs, addictions and even mental illness can all be forms of hard-core exits. But exits can also be those subtle little diversions couples engage in that enable them to avoid true intimacy with each other. To help protect your marriage, here are four harmful behaviors that may seem innocent, but will erode your relationship in a powerful way. [Read more...]
Communication is, at its essence, shared understanding. So it makes sense that, if you and your spouse have different understandings of key terms related to marriage, your communication will suffer.
Here’s some tips I often use to help couples in my counseling practice bridge the communication gap. Try it and see how it works for you and your partner. [Read more...]
Considering divorce? It’s understandable. You've experienced relationship struggles, and it's become a frustrating place to live. Your partner is obviously capable of showing generous love to the dog or cat as you witness the affection you long for. You can't remember the last time your partner asked about you, your day or expressed any interest in any aspect of your life. It’s been years since you fell in love and now, at best you feel like you’re living with a roommate, and at worst, you’re “sleeping with the enemy”.
It hurts to live with someone who is resentful and shows contempt instead of love and seems to go out of their way to avoid you. It's like one of my favorite quotes: “resentment is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die”. It’s likely your partner sees similar resentment or contempt in you. [Read more...]
We all wish for a better and kinder world, less social media bashing and more likes that translate in our real lives. As simple as it sounds, it takes just one person to start the process of that type of change. It's possible to have a kinder world when we all work together to use mindfulness in striving to create a better world.
First things first - start with ourselves, our families and our neighbors. Second, branch out to colleagues, service people and anyone you meet along your daily online and offline journey. Start today and watch your acts of kindness spread! [Read more...]
There’s a brave new world for parents and therapists to navigate as they understand changing labels for teens regarding gender identity and sexual identity.
For a generation that claims not to be into labels, they're sure coming up with a lot of them, especially when it comes to sexual identity and gender identity.
Seemingly overnight we have entered the uncharted territory of “boutique sexual identities,” abounding in confusing new labels such as “gender queer,” “nonbinary,” “homoflexible" and "heteroflexible.” Teens are determined to break out of the traditional and confining labels of “cisgender” and “heterosexual.” The cultural taboos against talking about sex are rapidly breaking down, and this often presents challenges to both parents and therapists. [Read more...]
Habits are formed by behaviors we’ve repeated over and over, and some are deeply formed in our early years from our experiences and environments. It’s helpful to become aware of each habit and understand why you want to break the habit. Breaking old habits occurs through repetition, practice, and focus.
Habits in a relationship can be particularly frustrating. Look at your partner with fresh eyes - see them as they are today, not last month, last year, or 15 years ago. Who are they right now? Coming with a fresh perspective can often break our habits in a relationship. [Read more...]
Anxiety is a normal human occurrence, and part of the challenge is to understand and accept that anxiety is normal. We tend to panic about panic!
In this Blog you'll discover many effective tools and practices to help you feel less anxious, and feel more peaceful and empowered. It's a necessity to put energy and consistent effort into practices to help you manage your anxiety. If we don’t practice, our brain stays the same and we remain the same. [Read more...]