10 Forms of Betrayal in Relationships That Can Be Damaging

Posted by Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D. on September 4, 2020 at 6:00 AM
Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.
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Infidelity is not the only betrayal in relationships. In fact, there are ten types of relationship betrayals that are common. 

I have never understood the mindset that there's a game-winning or game-losing shot. This, to me, renders the entire rest of the game useless and unimportant. If the star player has made a record-breaking, 62 points in the game leading up to the final 3 seconds, the team is down by 2 and her final toss toward the basket misses, is she really responsible for the game-losing shot? I think not. 

Nor do I think that one betrayal can make or break a relationship. Sure, it can complicate, undermine, or greatly influence a relationship, but one isolated betrayal is not typically what leads to a relationship's demise.  

Furthermore, just as a lousy pass might lead to a missed catch in a basketball game, one betrayal might lead to another betrayal in relationships. We are all responsible for our part. Always. No matter what the game. Especially in relationships.  

Betrayals come in many forms. Though many people might disagree with me, I do not believe in a hierarchy of betrayals.  

Betrayal is Betrayal is Betrayal! Here are the top 10 forms of betrayal in relationships:  

  1. Not showing up on time

  2. Not making your partner a priority

  3. Not being there when your partner is hurting or sick

  4. Not contributing to the well-being of the family (me rather than we)

  5. Not keeping promises

  6. Keeping secrets

  7. Lying

  8. Humiliating or putting down your partner in public or private

  9. Committing an act of emotional or physical infidelity

  10. Being physically violent

Relationship Fluidity

  • Relationships are strengthened one choice at a time, and they are weakened one choice at a time.

  • There are no make or break moments in a relationship.

  • There is always a gradual movement toward better or toward worse.

  • Take notice of the entire dance, not just the last few steps.

If you're struggling with betrayal in your marriage or relationship, we are here to help. Check out our Imago Relationship Workshops and Relationship TherapyWe also have Online Couples Therapy and Online Couples Workshops right now!  

Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional MembershipImago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training and Imago Educational Webinars


Connect. Transform. Thrive.

Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.DThis blog post was written by Michele O’Mara, LCSW, Ph.D.

Michele is an expert lesbian relationship coach and psychotherapist with a comfortable obsession with all things related to love and relationships. She is a Certified Imago Therapist, trained Gottman Therapist on all three levels, and a Certified Discernment Counselor. With a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology, she is also skilled at and comfortable with addressing sexual issues in relationships.

She is the author of Just Ask: 1,000 Questions to Grow Your Relationship, which is available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon, as well as an app on Itunes /Google play.

In addition to offering online counseling and coaching to couples from across the United States, she also offers relationship boot camps which you can learn more about at https://micheleomara.com/lesbian-couples-bootcamp/

 Check out her website too! 

Topics: Healthy Relationships, Conflict Resolution, Marriage Issues, Healthy Communication, Cheating, Getting the Love you Want, Keeping the Love Alive, Long Term Relationships, Online Couples Therapy, Trust, Rebuild Trust, Flirting, Vulnerability, Angry, unfaithful, Anger, Betrayal

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