Recently, I had the opportunity to travel through France and Denmark, and I found myself deeply moved by the gentle, restorative pace of life I encountered there.
In Denmark especially, I experienced the concept of hygge—a word that has no perfect English translation but beautifully captures the feeling of coziness, warmth, presence, and emotional well-being created through simple pleasures.
What struck me most was how intentional people were about slowing down.
- Meals lingered over candlelight
- Conversations unfolded without distraction
Even the smallest rituals like:
- sharing tea
- lighting a candle
- pausing to watch the sunset
All these moments were treated as moments of connection and care. There was a softness in the rhythm of the day, a quiet understanding that life isn’t something to be rushed through but something to be savored.
Coming home, I found myself longing to bring more of this hygge spirit into my own daily life—and to invite others to do the same.
The pursuit of comfort and simplicity is not just about a cozy aesthetic. It’s a way of nurturing both our inner world and our relationships. When we slow down, the following happens:
- We begin to notice more
- We listen more deeply
- We touch with intention
- We allow ourselves to be present with one another
Being present in relationships becomes its own kind of healing.
As a therapist, I see every day how couples and families struggle against the speed of modern life. We are busy, efficient, and often disconnected. The longing most people bring into therapy is not just for communication tools or problem-solving strategies—it’s for closeness and emotional intimacy.
Closeness in relationships rarely happens in haste. Closeness happens in the pauses, in the spaces between tasks and texts, when we dare to simply be together.
How to Bring Hygge Home in Your Marriage
Here are a few gentle ways to cultivate a hygge-inspired relational rhythm in your own relationships:
- Linger together
- Set aside an evening each week to be fully present
- No devices
- No agenda
- Just conversation, warmth, and curiosity
- Create a cozy space
- Light candles
- Play soft music
- Curl up under a favorite blanket
- A welcoming environment invites openness and ease
- Savor small rituals
- A shared cup of tea
- A morning walk
- A handwritten note
- All can become anchors of connection
- Practice gratitude
- Notice the small moments that bring you comfort and joy
- A smile
- A scent
- A touch
- Name all the moments out loud
- Notice the small moments that bring you comfort and joy
- Honor ordinary moments
- Treat an everyday dinner as an occasion
- Slowing down turns routine into ritual to be enjoyed
These small acts of presence and care are not trivial—they are the quiet architecture of love. Each act tells our partners, our families, and ourselves: You matter. This moment matters.
Healing in Marriage Through Connection
Imago Relationships theory reminds us that relationships are the place where healing happens. When we create environments of warmth and safety, our nervous systems relax, and our hearts open.
The Danish practice of hygge is, in many ways, another expression of what Imago calls “the space between”—a sacred relational field where both people feel seen, valued, and emotionally connected.
In a culture that prizes speed and achievement, choosing to slow down is an act of resistance and of love. It’s an invitation to remember that what we most deeply need-- including comfort, belonging, and connection—has always been close at hand.
So tonight, invite a little hygge into your relationship and your home with these simple connection practices:
- Light a candle. Let the warmth and soft glow signal to your body and nervous system that it’s time to slow down and soften.
- Put the cell phones away. Create a space free from distractions so presence and attention can take center stage.
- Sit with someone you love and connect more deeply by allowing the conversation to meander, pause, or unfold naturally. There’s no agenda—just curiosity, warmth, and being together.
- Slow your breath. Let silence be a gentle companion rather than something to fill.
- Notice what’s happening inside and between you. A smile. A long glance. A quiet sense of ease. A moment of understanding.
You may find that in the quiet glow of togetherness, you’ve already begun to heal, reconnect, and strengthen your relationship—not through effort, but through presence, softness, and time.
If you and your partner are struggling in your relationship and slowing down together, we're here to help with our online and in-person Imago Relationship Workshops and Relationship Therapy.
Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Educational Webinars.
This blog was written by Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT.
I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in West Los Angeles, California. I have 35 years of experience working with individuals, couples, and families. I have two advanced certifications in working with couples: Imago Relationship Therapy and Encounter-centered Couples Therapy.
I work with couples at all stages of their relationship to deepen communication, resolve conflict and rediscover the joy of being together. In addition to private sessions in my Los Angeles office, I am also passionate about leading workshops for Engaged Couples. With years of experience in premarital counseling, I am happy to offer an Imago-based workshop entitled, Start Right, Stay Connected. I also facilitate a Weekend Couples Retreat, Over the Bridge, for couples wanting profound transformation. For couples who desire deep, intensive, quick resolution in a private setting, I also offer one and two-day Private Intensives.
I have also been active throughout my career in educating and training students and interns to become practicing therapists. I have taught and supervised at various universities and training sites around Los Angeles. Prior to coming to California, I served as a team therapist and supervisor at Houston Child Guidance Center working with children and troubled adolescents. I have given numerous workshops and presentations, taught graduate courses, and supervised many interns on their way to becoming licensed.
I am an active member of the California Association for Marriage and Family Therapists, Los Angeles Association for Marriage and Family Therapists, IMAGO Relationship Institute, and the Southern California IMAGO Institute. I am a Master Encounter-centered Couples Practitioner. I am active in various spiritual settings and community endeavors. I love my profession and truly enjoy helping others to heal, grow, develop a heightened state of well-being and create more love and peace in their lives.
