I recently returned from a conference with fellow Imago Relationship Therapists. These gatherings are more than professional development—they’re opportunities to experience the kind of deep love and emotional connection we strive to foster in our work.

The highlight for me is always Communologue, a structured group Dialogue with eight participants. Each person shares in turn, and with each round, the depth of sharing and understanding grows.

I wish everyone could experience this kind of presence. As humans, we all long to connect, to be understood, and to feel that we matter—that our voice is heard.

Disconnection in Relationships

And yet, the world around us feels increasingly fractured. Conversations about values, identity, or even simple lifestyle choices can quickly become tense or distant. We feel this on many levels: at home, with friends, family, and colleagues.

Why are we at odds? Because we care so deeply. I truly see the fears and intense caring from everyone. Yet when we’re unable to explore what’s underneath our stance, assumptions take root—and misunderstandings follow.

Reflective Questions for Deeper Connection and Love

Here are a few gentle self-reflection questions to explore within yourself:

• Am I creating space where people feel safe to share their true feelings?
• How do I respond when someone sees the world differently than I do?
• Have I unconsciously fallen into an “us versus them” mindset?
• Can I approach myself and others with curiosity, openness, and compassion?

These questions aren’t about blame—they’re about opening space for understanding, empathy, and love.

What Imago Relationships Therapy Has Taught Me About Human Connection

After more than two decades as a psychotherapist, I’ve come to believe that beneath the surface, every person is likeable and lovable.

In couples therapy, I often witness behavior that raises eyebrows—but we open a space to explore the deeper context. Every action has roots. We think and behave as we do for a reason.

Of the perhaps thousands of people I’ve worked with, I can count on one hand those I’ve genuinely disliked. Sometimes clients feel I’m not the right fit—but that’s usually about style or unmet needs, not about who I am.

As therapists, we practice the "safe and effective use of self," staying focused on the client and only sharing our vulnerabilities when it serves the healing process. Clients may not know my story, but they can sense whether I’m safe.

How Disconnection Hides Our Humanity

Social media amplifies curated personas. We see images and opinions, but rarely the person behind them. We seldom get the chance to sit down, ask questions, and understand what shaped their beliefs or emotions.

Instead, we fall into binary thinking:

• The classic us-versus-them mindset.
• We’re the heroes; they’re the villains.
• A polarized view — we’re right, they’re wrong.
• A mindset that divides instead of connects.
• When empathy gets replaced by judgment.
• A separation that keeps compassion at a distance.

This mindset erodes empathy, curiosity, and love—and with it, our humanity. But when we soften, breathe, and become curious, we invite real emotional safety and connection to return.

Therapeutic Tools for Building Loving and Connected Dialogue

Imago Relationship Therapy offers powerful tools for healing and rebuilding connection. Whether in romantic relationships, families, or communities, these tools help us move from judgment to curiosity and love.

1. Imago Dialogue creates a safe structure for listening and being heard.
2. Communologue extends this into group settings, allowing each voice to be honored.
3. Prevalidation reminds us that everyone makes sense—even before they speak.
4. Avoiding MasterTalk helps us communicate without assuming we know best.

These practices foster emotional safety, compassion, and mutual respect. They’re not just for therapists—they’re for anyone who wants to bring more understanding and love into their relationships.

If you’re curious, many Imago therapists offer workshops, trainings, and community connection circles that teach these skills in real life.

Building Bridges in Relationships: Focus on Curiosity

Next time you encounter someone who seems to hold different views or values, pause. Breathe. Move into a calm and curious stance.

Ask a question. Listen. Refrain from commenting. Take a breath, then ask a deeper question. Listen again.

You might discover shared values and hopes beneath the surface.

Here’s a simple example: a daughter who eats plant-based and a father who eats meat may passionately disagree, creating ongoing tension in the family. The father doesn’t understand, and the daughter feels criticized and defensive. But if they sit down and get curious about what’s underneath their choices, they may find they both care deeply about health, love, and well-being. Their choices simply reflect different paths toward similar goals.

That’s the power of curiosity—it transforms distance into understanding and love.

Everyday Connection: A Gentle Practice

Curiosity around differing beliefs or preferences may not be an easy shift, so start small.

My favorite season is spring, and I have lifelong reasons for that. A dear friend of mine loves winter. I realized I had no idea why. So I invited her to share her thoughts. When I read her reflections, I felt expanded, touched, and uplifted.

I learned something new about someone I love—and I might even like winter more now, seeing it through her eyes.

That’s the gift of curiosity: expansion, empathy, and unexpected joy.

Where Love and Healing Begin in Relationships

Let’s resist the urge to categorize and condemn. Let’s choose curiosity over judgment, love over fear, and connection over certainty. That’s where healing begins.

What I say to couples who initially disagree so vehemently is this:

• “No one is the villain here—just two people longing for safety, understanding, and emotional connection.”
• “There is truth and humanity on both sides—each heart trying to love, to heal, and to be seen.”
• “When we soften our judgment, we find not bad people but hurting ones searching for safety and compassion.”
• “There is wisdom and pain on both sides, and healing begins when we see the humanity in each other.” 

Becoming the Change: Practicing Love and Connection

Now is a powerful moment to embody the values we speak about—to practice what we preach and become the change we wish to see.

It’s not always easy, but meaningful support is available—through therapy, coaching, or community connection.

Let’s get curious. Let’s listen. And let’s begin the work of healing relationships—one loving conversation at a time.

If you are struggling with disconnection in your relationships, we’re here to support you with Relationship Therapy and Relationship Workshops wherever you are.

Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Educational Webinars.