Reclaiming Joyful Aliveness: Transform Your Relationship with Imago Relationship Therapy

As an Imago couples therapist, I often work with couples who find themselves in challenging situations marked by struggle and conflict. Without a doubt, this is a significant part of what we address as couples therapists. Therefore, it might surprise some to hear that one of the most transformative concepts I’ve encountered in Imago Relationships Therapy is the idea of joyful aliveness. This concept has profoundly influenced not only my work with couples but also how I live my own life and approach my personal relationships.

The Concept of Joyful Aliveness

The concept of joyful aliveness is rooted in the belief that we are all born with innate qualities: relaxed energy, a sense of joyful aliveness, and an inherent ability and desire to connect. These qualities are our birthright.

Have you ever spent time with a baby or young child? They radiate this joyful aliveness. I see it every day with my 10-month-old daughter. She wakes up each morning with a beaming smile, her arms flapping with excitement, ready to embrace the day. She giggles at the simplest things—like me saying "whoops" or watching our cat Puck walk across the room.

We are all born with this natural joy, but as we grow older, life inevitably introduces experiences that begin to dim our joy.

Life’s Impact on Joyful Aliveness

The things that diminish our joyful aliveness can range from small disappointments, like not being invited to a birthday party, to more significant challenges, such as:

• Traumatic experiences
• Neglect
• Abuse
• Loss
• Crisis

No one escapes life unscathed; we all encounter events that dull the edges of our inner joy.

In Imago, we believe that part of our journey as adults is to reclaim this birthright. This involves rediscovering the parts of ourselves that have dimmed and allowing them to shine brightly again. One of the most powerful ways to heal and reconnect with our joyful aliveness is through our relationships—especially our connection with our partner.

Reclaiming Joyful Aliveness Through Relationships

When we first fall in love, we often experience a surge of joyful aliveness during the romantic love stage. This stage feels euphoric, fueled by a cocktail of feel-good chemicals. However, as with all couples, this phase eventually fades, giving way to another: the power struggle phase.

In Imago therapy, we recognize that the power struggle isn’t a bad thing. It represents growth trying to happen. By committing to the work of becoming more conscious and intentional in their relationship, couples can move from reactive and unconscious patterns into a state of real love. This process of reconnecting and doing the work together allows us to regain that joyful aliveness.

The Transformative Power of Joyful Aliveness

I often introduce the concept of joyful aliveness to the couples I work with, and it transforms the energy of our sessions. What might initially feel heavy and burdensome to the couple can shift into something lighter and more joyful.

I encourage couples to reflect on questions like:

• What brings you joy?
• When do you feel most joyfully alive?
• When was the last time you experienced that feeling of joy, both individually and together?

As we explore these questions, we uncover their unique recipe for living more joyfully.

For me, I feel joyfully alive on the ski slopes on a crisp winter day, admiring the beauty of the mountains. I feel joyfully alive when I hear my daughter’s laughter, when I feel connected to my husband, and when I share meaningful moments with others.

To yearn for connection and to feel most alive and joyful in the presence of those we love is a universal human experience.

An Invitation to Become Joyfully Alive in Your Relationship

I invite you to ponder these questions for yourself:

• What specifically fills you with joy?
• How can you work with your partner to reclaim your birthright of joyful aliveness?

Together, you and your partner can rediscover and nurture this powerful, joyful energy. It is yours for the taking, and it’s never too late to start. A relationship full of joyful aliveness begins with a single step—start today.

If you and your partner are struggling with feeling joyful and alive, we're here to help. Check out our virtual and in-person Imago Relationships Workshops and Imago Relationships Therapy. Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Insights Education.