Do you feel a little distant from your romantic partner?
Could your relationship with a family member be closer?
Are you experiencing some friction with a friend?
Here are eight tips for next-level relationships to boost happiness in all your relationships.
How to Level Up and Take Your Relationships to The Next Level: 8 Best Tips
Tip #1: Accept Your Loved Ones For Who They Are, And Who They Are Not.
To truly love someone is to do so for who the person is right now, not for their potential or who you want them to be.
Tip #2: Resist Keeping Score in Your Relationships.
- Keeping track of what you've done for them and comparing it to what you've received in return puts the focus on competition and judgment and may lead to resentment.
- Instead, place your focus on love, kindness, and gratitude. Do so when you give or are kind to someone because you genuinely want to, rather than thinking they will give or be kind to you.
- If you do something nice for them and expect a certain level of gratitude, you are not coming from your heart but from your ego. When you come from your ego, you are unconsciously or consciously being self-serving. When you come from your heart, all that you do, both consciously and unconsciously, is purely from love.
- On an energy level, people know when affection or help comes with strings attached, creating tension, distance, and resentment in your relationship.
Tip #3: Keep Your Mind Open Vs. “Knowing” Your Loved Ones Next Step.
- When you predict someone's actions based on your imagination or past experiences, you might set the relationship up to fail. If they do what you expect, there's the possibility you've cemented your negative prediction, which may close off possible positive future outcomes.
- And, of course, if they don't do what you expect, you may not fully accept it because your ego wants to be correct.
- There's a saying: You can be right or be in a relationship, but you cannot have both. It is best to consider this if you find your ego wanting to be correct and blinding you to the positive change your partner or friend has made.
Tip #4: Offer The Benefit Of The Doubt To Your Loved Ones.
- Remember, your loved ones are human, and things happen. Some are within their control, and some are entirely outside of it.
- When a loved one falls short of their promises—or your expectations—and disappoints you, allow them the opportunity to have their side heard.
- Instead of jumping to conclusions based on what you think you "know" about them, ask them what happened.
- Be honest with your feelings about how their actions affected you.
- When the conversation has reached a resolution, let it go, even if that means agreeing to disagree.
Tip #5: Listen With Curiosity.
- This simple tip of listening is commonly overlooked.
- We sometimes go on "listening autopilot" when a loved one speaks.
- Listening on autopilot may occur either because you "think" you've heard it all before, are preparing your answer, or are just daydreaming about other things.
- When listening, instead, reflect on a time you knew someone wasn't listening to you and how that felt.
- It will not encourage a closer relationship when someone isn't heard and truly listened to. So, reflect on a time when someone actively listened to what you had to say. How did that make you feel?
- Click here for more tips on how to become an active listener.
Tip #6: Before you Unload Your Day, Check-In and Gain Permission First.
- When you want to vent to your loved one about all the "crap" that happened in your day, first ask your partner or loved ones if they are willing to listen.
- When you first ask, it shows that you respect their time and choice to take on the energy you will pass along to them.
- You'll also be expressing to them that you know they are emotionally separate from you and that they may have other things on their mind.
- When one person shows this kind of consideration and respect, the other person also learns how to show it.
Tip #7: Make Distraction-Free Time for Your Loved Ones.
- It's not the amount of time you spend with someone that brings you closer; it's the quality of that time.
- Set aside regular "distraction-free" time with loved ones.
- It's critical to silence and put away your cell phone during this sacred time.
- Immerse yourself by focusing all your energy and attention on being in the moment with your loved one.
Tip #8: Let Your Loved Ones Know How Deeply You Care.
- Friends, family, and romantic partners are sometimes the last to hear how much they are loved.
- Although you might consider it a given that the person knows your feelings, everyone appreciates hearing a reminder.
- For example - at least ten years after my grandfather passed, a much older cousin told me how my grandfather used to tell everyone how proud he was of me. I had no idea, as he never told me. It was nice to find that out. I would have appreciated knowing this when he was alive.
You can level up with practice and mindful intention. These eight tips will help you feel more profound love and happiness with your romantic partner, family, and even close friends.
If you're struggling to take your relationship to the next level, we are here to help with Imago Imago Relationships Workshops and Imago Relationships Therapy.We also have Online Couples Therapy and Online Couples Workshops right now!
This blog post was written by Mara Fisher, LCSW, MCC
Mara is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Master Certified Coach. She is also a Certified Imago Therapist and Advanced Imago Therapist.
Mara's career has grown out of a gift of intuition – which she's been aware of since childhood – and a natural inclination for using that gift to help empower others. Guiding and coaching feel as adventurous to her as the way she's lived her life. Born in New York City, Mara took European trips in her youth and has lived in England, France, and New Mexico in the United States.
Mara believes the boldness and confidence she gained through taking risks and expanding boundaries have contributed to her personal and professional successes. She loves seeing the joy in her clients when they find the courage to challenge themselves and transform their lives as well.
Mara has been a perpetual student, always exploring her inner self by learning new skills and techniques that help her to understand herself, other cultures, and what it is that makes us human. She applies that learning in a way that enables her clients to live fully in the present, to face the challenges in their futures, and to live their dreams.
For nearly three decades, Mara has focused on methods that help her clients realize that they already have answers to their questions. Instead of letting them give their power to her because she can often intuit what is going on in their lives, she can help them claim their power and solve their own problems.
Today Mara serves clients all over the globe through telephone and email communications. Her approach with each individual is uniquely shaped by who the person is and by their circumstances and needs. Tools and techniques selected for each client come from the expertise she's built during her career.
Check out Mara's website too!