Trapped in a Split-Screen World: How Technology is Reshaping Childhood

Jonathan Haidt’s bestselling book, The Anxious Generation, has opened the door to critical discussion about the state of our young generation’s mental health. He sheds light on the growing mental health challenges our youth are battling today. However, his approach tends to generalize a topic that is inherently complex and ever-changing.

Additionally, he highlights a significant rise in anxiety and depression, particularly among teenagers and even children as young as 9 to 12 years old. Haidt’s analysis reveals a strong correlation between the rapid adoption of smartphones and social media starting in the early 2010s and the rise in depression and anxiety.

Healthy Childhood Development: Unstructured Play and Face-to-Face Relationships

Experts agree that unstructured play, physical engagement with the community and nature, and in-person friendships are critical for healthy child development. Face-to-face interactions teach vital social skills, stress management, confidence, and emotion regulation. Yet, the rise of technology has detached children from nature and shared human experiences, depriving them of these crucial developmental opportunities.

Real-world experiences are essential for children to develop emotional safety, competence, and autonomy.

• Physical touch during play fosters feelings of safety in relationships for children.
• Eye contact helps communicate trust and intimacy for children.
• Personal boundaries are learned from real-world face-to-face experiences.

Unfortunately, the rise of technology has reduced these real-world peer interactions, which are becoming increasingly rare. Children are increasingly living in a digital world dominated by smartphones, iPads, laptops, video games, and even virtual reality. These technologies hinder their growth in developing competence, a sense of agency, grounding, strength, and autonomy.

The Shift to a Phone-Based Childhood

Haidt suggests that parents have become overly focused on molding their children into accomplished adults through organized activities and constant supervision. We tend to over protect our children from physical dangers in the real world. This has led to a decline in children’s freedom to explore the physical world and engage in unstructured play without adult supervision.

For many of us in older generations, these experiences were unquestioned parts of growing up. We spent hours riding bikes, exploring creeks, hitching rides to outdoor concerts, and knocking on friends’ and neighbors’ doors to see who was home. We did all of this without our parents knowing where we were or whether we had eaten or stayed hydrated.

Growing up with more freedom in the '80s and '90s taught us to navigate challenges and setbacks independently—which are key developmental milestones for healthy individuation.

Between 2010 and 2021, suicide rates and self-inflicted injuries among youth rose at a disturbing rate. Social relationships deteriorated as children spent more time in the virtual world, leading to numerous problems, including:

• Sleep deprivation
• Social isolation
• Fragmented attention
• Addiction and more

The quality of social relationships declined as kids spent more time engaging with the virtual world. Haidt attributes these issues to what he calls the phone-based childhood.

How Technology Shapes the Developing Child's Brain

The brain’s frontal lobes, responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning, aren’t fully developed until the mid-20s. Unfortunately, tech companies design their systems to target the vulnerable, still-developing frontal lobes of young people. Their algorithms are purely designed to foster addiction, with a particular impact on the developing brain.

The captivating nature of constant stimulation and dopamine rewards throughout technology devices disrupts the following critical functions:

• Focus and attention
• Emotional regulation
• Healthy sleep patterns (which are essential for mitigating technology's harmful effects)

As profit-driven entities, technology companies have one goal - increase viewership regardless of harm. Youth have become prime targets for these companies, and as of 2025, meaningful regulation in the U.S. appears to be off the table.

While technology offers immense benefits, it has outpaced our ability to understand its potential harms. Research shows that compulsive social media use can cause structural changes in adolescent brains. MRI studies reveal that adolescents are particularly at risk for social media addiction. These studies indicate actual structural changes in adolescent brains due to social media use!

Certain groups within society face even greater risks. LGBTQ+ youth spend an average of more than four hours daily on social media and are three times more likely to experience online bullying. Children with neural sensitivities are particularly vulnerable to the negative consequences of cyberbullying.

Belonging to a social group is crucial during pre-adolescent and adolescent development. Unfortunately, some children only find these connections online rather than in the real world. Spending countless hours online exposes children to the following risks:

• Exposure to harmful or predatory situations
• Normalization of self-harm
• Normalization of suicide
• Normalization of weapon use
• Exposure to other dangerous and addictive behaviors

The Dark Side of Living in a Split-Screen World

A fact that cannot be disputed: our children are being raised in a split-screen world. This digital reality has become the norm in our society, presenting itself differently to us as adults compared to how it shapes the experiences of children with developing brains.

As adults, most of us have the cognitive ability to compartmentalize, filter, and monitor our digital intake. We understand concepts like misinformation, online manipulation, and the curated nature of social media. However, these ideas are often too abstract or incomprehensible for children whose brains are still developing—and frankly, many of these concepts shouldn't even be on their radar yet.

Children live in two parallel worlds: the "real world" of school, family, and face-to-face interactions, and the "digital world" where social media, gaming, and online culture create an alternate reality. This virtual existence often becomes more consuming, complex, and emotionally charged than their experiences in the real world - their offline lives.

The rise of AI will only accelerate this split. As artificial intelligence continues to evolve at breakneck speed, its impact on young minds remains a vast unknown. How will children navigate a future where AI-generated content blurs the lines between truth and fiction, and where algorithms increasingly control their experiences and perceptions?

The pace of technological advancement is outstripping our ability to understand and regulate its effects. As parents, educators, and society as a whole, we must urgently ask ourselves:

• How do we equip children with the skills to navigate this dual existence of online and offline lives in a safe and healthy way?
• What safeguards can we put in place to protect their developing minds from harm in an AI-driven world that even we, as adults, struggle to comprehend?

Protecting Youth in a Fast-Changing Digital Landscape

Given the rapid pace of technological change and its impact on children, there are practical steps parents can take to protect and guide them:

• Delay smartphone use: Wait as long as possible before introducing smartphones to children.
• Set screen time limits: Use timers to hold kids accountable for their technology use.
• Teach digital literacy: Have open discussions about online dangers and help kids develop critical thinking skills.
• Encourage physical activities: Guide and model engaging physical activities that provide similar rewards to digital entertainment, such as biking, hiking, or playing sports.
• Stay connected: Follow up regularly with your children about what they’re seeing online and how it makes them feel. Ask about any unsettling experiences and provide support.
• Model healthy behavior: Put your own phone down, make eye contact, and connect meaningfully with your kids.

Studies show that engaging in eye contact and shared activities strengthens bonds and positively impacts children's emotional development. Volunteering as a family or participating in community service can also fulfill the same desire for engagement and reward that screens often satisfy.

What Can We as a Society Do to Address the Technology Crisis?

We cannot place the responsibility solely on parents. They didn’t create this problem, nor can they solve it alone. A collective societal effort is essential to protect children from the harm technology poses to their developing brains. Partnering with key organizations is critical. The following organizations can play a key role:

• Schools: Implement digital literacy education and promote screen-free activities.
• Technology companies: Advocate for ethical design that prioritizes child well-being.
• Government mandates: Push for federal and state regulations to protect young users.
• Pediatricians: Encourage healthcare providers to educate families on the mental health impact of excessive screen use.
• Parent groups: Collaborate to share resources, experiences, and advocacy efforts.

We are still in the early stages of understanding the full impact of these technologies. As such, the more hands we can gather for change, the better the outcomes for future generations.

Let’s pull together as families, schools, healthcare providers, and community members to create a positive path forward. Every step matters—let’s act now to help safeguard our children from the potential damage caused by technology.

If you need help in navigating life in a split-screen world for you and your family, we're here to help with our online and in-person Imago Relationship Workshops and Relationship Therapy.

Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Educational Webinars.

Tory Joseph is a licensed clinical counselor working with the Imago Center of DC as a relationship therapist and parenting specialist. She works with couples, parents, and individuals to address problems with anxiety, grief, depression and loss of connection, to then gain insight, healing and growth. Her clients work through parenting conflict, infidelity, divorce and blending families. Tory has over 20 years of experience in teaching, counseling, and parent coaching. She is the mother of three grown children, raised in the DC area. She works remotely and is licensed in Florida and Maryland.

Tory will work to help you navigate difficult transitions, including career change, empty nest, divorce, relationship breaks, or death of a loved one. She can help you to:

• Better understand and resolve challenges in your life
• Manage difficult emotions, including anger and anxiety
• Improve decision-making
• Create a healthy blend of work, leisure and relationships
• Overcome ambivalence, fear, destructive behavior and move toward your goals

Discover more about Tory at: https://www.toryjoseph.com/