If you find yourself nodding off to sleep thinking about your partner and your relationship, don't panic. It may simply mean that you need to shake things up a bit, reboot the day-to-day doldrums, and yes, it is actually possible.
Everyone is capable of changing, and it's simply a matter of doing it. If you want different outcomes, you can't keep repeating yourself. Here are a few ideas to recharge your relationship and get out of the ruts you've been in with your partner.
#1 - Feeling a Little Bored in Your Relationship? Start With Yourself First.
Although that may seem counterintuitive, it's not. When you sacrifice what you love for the sake of your partner, you risk sliding down a slippery slope that will land you in a heap of resentment—then blaming your partner for everything under the sun, including your own boredom.
Take the reins back, and re-focus, recommit to attaining the goals you once had. Re-invest in your own life, and you'll become less bored and more interesting to your partner. You may even be inspirational enough to encourage them to get off the couch and get back to finding interesting and exciting ways to fill their days.
Volunteer for a cause you are mutually committed to together. Set the hours so you can both participate at the same time.
#2 - Find Something You Can Both Look Forward To Together.
Despite what's going on, plan a vacation (even if it's a staycation). Plan a project you can both sink your teeth into, such as remodeling your home, a new adventure or business, a change of location. If you are both working from home, do it from an Airbnb or vacation rental for a few weeks.
If that is financially infeasible, create something new. Such as getting up together twice a week to watch the sunrise or make a few nights out of the week a date night.
Cook together with jazzy music in the background, light candles to set the mood. In other words, you can implement simple things to reignite anticipation.
Do a weekly Zoom with mutual friends for a virtual Happy Hour. Plan something fun you can both get excited about experiencing.
#3 - Bring Sexy Romance Back Into The Picture.
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Dress up for a date night in something skimpy.
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Take a bubble bath together.
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Take turns planning your date night.
#4 - Abandon Your Comfort Zone.
Leap into the unknown, hand in hand. That doesn't mean you have to get totally crazy. You can do something as easy as watching a new show together, instead of the constant reruns. Or maybe you take on learning a new language together and use each other to practice.
You and your partner can partake in many activities to uproot the same old same old routine. Take up dancing in your living room.
Have a game night and take turns choosing what game you play. Get silly together and remember how much fun you used to have together.
If you're struggling with boredom in your relationship, we're here to help. Check out our Imago Relationship Workshops and Imago Relationship Therapy. We also have Online Couples Therapy and Online Couples Workshops right now!
Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training and Imago Insights Education.
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This blog post was written by Mara Fisher, LCSW, MCC.
Mara is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Master Certified Coach. She is also a Certified Imago Therapist and Advanced Imago Therapist.
Mara's career has grown out of a gift of intuition – which she's been aware of since childhood – and a natural inclination for using that gift to help empower others. Guiding and coaching feel as adventurous to her as the way she's lived her life. Born in New York City, Mara took European trips in her youth and has lived in England, France, and New Mexico in the United States.
Mara believes the boldness and confidence she gained by taking risks and expanding boundaries have contributed to her personal and professional success. She loves seeing the joy in her clients when they find the courage to challenge themselves and transform their lives as well.
Mara has been a perpetual student, always exploring her inner self by learning new skills and techniques that help her to understand herself, other cultures, and what it is that makes us human. She applies that learning to enable her clients to live fully in the present, face the challenges in their futures, and live their dreams.
For nearly three decades, Mara has focused on methods that help her clients realize that they already have answers to their questions. Instead of letting them give their power to her because she can often intuit what is going on in their lives, she can help them claim their power and solve their own problems.
Today Mara serves clients all over the globe through telephone, zoom and email communications. Her approach with each individual is uniquely shaped by who they are and their circumstances and needs. Tools and techniques selected for each client come from the expertise she's built during her career.
Check out Mara's website too!
