---
title: Playing the Blame Game in Your Relationship? Stop the Defensive Pattern
description: "If you want to improve your relationship there's one important rule to follow: Stop playing the Blame Game! You'll connect on a healthier and happier level."
image: https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hubfs/istockphoto-474217638-612x612.jpg
---

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# Playing the Blame Game in Your Relationship? Stop the Defensive Pattern

Posted by [Stacy Bremner, MA, RP, Registered Psychotherapist.](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/author/stacy-bremner) on July 10, 2020 at 6:00 AM

![Stacy Bremner, MA, RP, Registered Psychotherapist.](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hubfs/IRNA%20Blog%20Author%20Headshots/Stacy%20Bremner%2c%20MA%2c%20RP%2c%20Registered%20Psychotherapist%20-%20Imago%20Relationships%20North%20America.jpg)

 6 minute read

![istockphoto-474217638-612x612](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hs-fs/hubfs/istockphoto-474217638-612x612.jpg?width=676&name=istockphoto-474217638-612x612.jpg)

In our intimate partnerships, we may try hard to [connect](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/space-between-point-connection-couples), wish to be heard, feel understood, ask for change, and validate all of those things. Yet we might be met with resistance. 

Our partner may instantly react by getting [defensive](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/defensive-relationship-emotional-safety). That surprises us because we know we are “innocent,” [trying to connect](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/are-you-truly-connecting-with-your-partner) and mean well. So, what happens next? 

##### We start asking *Why, Why, Why* questions ...

- Why are you so defensive? 
- Why won’t you [listen](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/active-listening-communication) to me? 
- Why won’t you talk to me?
- Why can’t we work on this? 

Then things likely escalate, and our partner sounds even [more defensive](https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17713/12-truths-about-defensive-behavior.html), which might make us feel attacked, so we become more defensive too! Round and round and round we go. So, the [dance of disconnection](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200901/hold-me-tight) continues. Sound familiar?

Well, the good news is that there are many places we can break the cycle in this **chain of reactivity.**  This Blog will highlight one opportunity with how to eliminate the ***Why, Why, Why.* **

First, let’s look at how this gets created. It’s about the brain and how we are socialized, and it starts with the developing brain of a child where automatic responses are set up. Parents typically react to the distressing behavior of a child by asking **Why**? It’s kind of a functional shaming reaction to stress. 

##### When a parent is shocked and needs to take action, they may speak like this: 

- Why did you hit your sister?
- Why did you run through the house with your muddy boots on?
- Why did you put that marble up your nose?

##### Really, what do the Why questions represent? 

There’s a line of often unspoken reasoning underneath the questions that the child understands, that goes something like this…

- Why did you do that? 
- What were you thinking?
- That is crazy, dangerous, bad, just plain wrong!
- That scared me, so I am upset and angry with you! 
- Don’t do that again! 
- You will be punished...

So the brain pairs **Why** and questions in general with danger, like “I’m Bad!” and “Uh-oh, I’m in trouble now!”

Since a healthy child learns to avoid or prevent punishment or danger (*which can simply include an angry voice tone from a parent*), this sequence of feeling fear, guilt, or shame, and then [avoidance](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201305/avoidance-coping)naturally gets set up. 

When this sequence of fear, [guilt](https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/whats-weighing-you-down-lighten-up), [shame,](https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/is-shame-driving-your-relationships)and avoidance happens, it naturally causes a ***fight, flight, or freeze*** response. This type of response naturally kicks in to save us from harm or help us cope when we are in trouble. So it’s very functional. The parent becomes upset = the child adjusts behavior. 

##### Any caregiver can set up this response in a child - even a teacher. 

When my son Rob was in Elementary school, he was outside in the winter for recess. He and a friend were occupying themselves by holding a door to the school open. When the recess teacher saw them, she came over and said, “Why are you holding the door open?” Rob answered her honestly and responded, “Because it’s warm.” He was then accused of being disrespectful and sent to the principal’s office for punishment. 

It is not logical to punish a child for being honest and answering a question. However, this is what happens when an adult is [reactive](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/relationship-advice/become-more-mindful-have-less-conflict) and doesn’t take the time to explain the offense and guide the child in a better direction. 

The recess teacher could have said, “Yes, …it is warm, but we have to keep the doors closed to hold in the heat. Now, please go play…” Then my son would have felt validated and redirected respectfully. 

**Validation, support, and respect** are important in our [adult relationships](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/relationship-advice/adulting-your-adult-brain-vs-your-toddler-brain), too, especially if we want to flourish together. We need to take more time to validate and redirect each other in respectful ways. However, like that teacher at recess, we may often be on auto-pilot and unknowingly [punish](https://www.abc.net.au/life/dealing-with-the-silent-treatment-in-relationships/10959724)each other or trigger defensiveness.

##### ![istockphoto-183278989-612x612-1](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hs-fs/hubfs/istockphoto-183278989-612x612-1.jpg?width=367&name=istockphoto-183278989-612x612-1.jpg)

##### How does this pattern show up with our partner?    

Let’s say we have a wife who asks her husband for more help around the house. She thinks this is a simple and valid request, but yet there’s some level of [annoyance](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/relationship-advice/what-to-do-when-partner-annoys-irritates) that’s motivating her to speak up. Her husband immediately picks up on the underlying annoyance and prepares for the attack. 

##### Her request for more help triggers underlying feelings inside of him in less than a flash, such as: 

- Danger! I am bad! 
- Here we go again...
- She thinks I don’t do enough. 
- She doesn’t appreciate what I do. 
- She doesn’t see what I do for this household/family. 

So the **brain picks up on some level of risk or danger.** He may not immediately get in touch with those thoughts, but he feels the reaction in his body, which comes from the past, of getting in trouble or being wrong with someone, so he [reacts with defensiveness](https://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/how-to/human-resources/2018/11/4-ways-to-communicate-betterwith-defensive-people.html). So when we feel a need to defend, what do we do? We argue or make an excuse to shut it down to protect our tender psyche. We know we are not bad! 

##### Maybe this husband starts to argue or makes an excuse, such as: 

- Why should I have to…?
- I already do more than most guys. 
- I barely have enough time to….

The wife is surprised but tries to honor him with curiosity. She uses a **Why** statement to understand. 

##### She might say: 

- Why are you getting upset?
- Why would you say that? 
- Why don’t you want to help me? 
- Why don’t you love me?

Underneath she’s been triggered too and is feeling scared, diminished, or even [unloved](https://www.learning-mind.com/feeling-unloved-childhood/). The questions will likely increase his defense, which will increase her offense. The anger in his voice scares her, so she shuts down and can’t listen or be curious anymore. Eventually, what happens after the [mutual criticism](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/criticism-toxic-habit-ruin-relationship_l_5d41e484e4b0d24cde0a05f2) is an eventual walking away and silence. 

If this happens for you, know that you are normal and not alone! But we can adjust this dynamic and [break the pattern.](https://www.bustle.com/p/7-things-that-will-instantly-de-escalate-argument-75256)

##### **Presence can help break the pattern**.

Break the pattern by slowing down without the ***Why, Why, Why*** interrogation. 

If we want to help our partner go deeper and give a true answer of why they feel the way they do without defensiveness, we’ll need to open up a space for them to get in touch with what’s really going on. It can help to eliminate the **Why, Why, Why**, as we move away from the threatening inquiry or interrogation.

##### Here’s an example of how to break the pattern. We can say:

- Help me understand your ideas (*or feelings*) around this.
- Then, slow down, stop and really listen…
- Remember, your partner is your only priority at the moment. 

##### We might also say: 

- Can you please share what’s coming up for you? I really want to understand.
- Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry... I see I hit a nerve, that wasn’t my intention. Please tell me what happened just then. 

##### **![marriage-couples-coronavirus](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hs-fs/hubfs/marriage-couples-coronavirus.jpg?width=366&name=marriage-couples-coronavirus.jpg)**

##### **Then again, slow down, stop and really listen… **

With this genuine, safe, and curious opportunity for the [partner to pause](https://time.com/5402188/how-to-fight-healthy-partner) and look inside, a misunderstanding can be prevented.  

##### **I Am So Excited! Why Aren’t You?**

Here is another common scenario. Let’s say you are excited about an invitation to go away for a couple’s weekend with friends, and instead of the immediate agreement, your spouse might say they don’t want to go.

##### You feel disappointed, and yet you don’t share that feeling. Instead, you say:

- Why not?
- Why don’t you want to go away with me?  
- Why can’t we ever do what I want to do? 
- Why is it always your way?

So again, it makes your spouse wrong, and he/she becomes defensive. At this point, no matter what his/her reason, you won’t like it. 

##### More Adjustments Without the *Why, Why, Why.*

It takes a great personal presence to sit with personal disappointment and make it safe to talk. You might say to your partner:  

- Ok, I really want to go…and I hear that you don’t want to go. 
- I would love to talk about this in more depth so I can understand. 
- Can we both share our ideas? 

##### And if he/she avoids that invitation, you might say:

- I know this is a sudden thing, so I suggest we take some time to think about it. Would that be ok? 
- This trip means a lot to me, and I want to understand your feelings about the trip. 
- I have a few hours before I have to give the final RSVP to my friends. I want to honor your personal timing. So can we revisit this after dinner (*or first thing in the morning*)? What timing can work for you?

Of course, you want your version to sound natural and friendly, and it takes practice. You may mess it up a few times. Don’t give up. It can get better. The reward is a faster repair once an automatic defensive rupture starts, and a greater connection between any type of rupture.

When we work to delete the ***Why, Why, Why*** the result is more feelings of [love](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/relationship-advice/love-thrive-couple-tips), safety, [trust](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/relationship-advice/how-rebuild-trust-marriage), and calm connection. No one has to be ***Bad*** anymore!

If you're struggling with defensiveness in your relationship and playing the blame game, we're here to help.  Check out our Imago Relationship [workshops](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/couples-and-individuals/workshops) and [therapy](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/couples-and-individuals/imago-therapy).  We have online therapy and workshops too! 

Discover more about Imago with our **[Imago Professional Membership](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/membership), [Imago Professional Facilitators, ](https://imagorelationshipswork.com/organizations)****[Imago Professional Training](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/community/profile-ref/manage-subscription/imago-professional-training)** and [Imago](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/community/user-ref/manage-subscription/imago-professional-training/33-about-imago/training/74-imago-insights-educational-webinars)**[ Educational Webinars](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/community/user-ref/manage-subscription/imago-professional-training/33-about-imago/training/74-imago-insights-educational-webinars). **

 

***Connect. Transform. Thrive.***

[***Imago Relationships***](https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com) 

 

---

* ![Stacy Bremner, MA, RP, Registered Psychotherapist - Imago Relationships North America](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Stacy%20Bremner,%20MA,%20RP,%20Registered%20Psychotherapist%20-%20Imago%20Relationships%20North%20America.jpg?width=168&name=Stacy%20Bremner,%20MA,%20RP,%20Registered%20Psychotherapist%20-%20Imago%20Relationships%20North%20America.jpg)**This blog post was written by *Stacy Bremner, MA, RP, Registered Psychotherapist. 

*Stacy Bremner is in private practice in North Bay, Ontario, Canada. She holds a Specialized Honours B.A. in Psychology and an M.A. in Human Development. She is a Registered Psychotherapist (RP) with the CRPO (the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario), as well as a member in good standing with the OAMHP.  Stacy is also a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist with Advanced Clinician status and a Certified Imago Workshop Presenter. *

*For two decades, she has assisted individuals, couples, and groups. She has taught a variety of workshops on topics such as relationships, communication, sexuality, healing, self-awareness, creativity, and self-help. Stacy has a background in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Meditation and Mindfulness, Psychodramatic Bodywork, Conscious Core Transformation (CCT), The DNMS, Discernment Counselling, and PACT. She also continues to study and teach in the area of Couplehood and sexuality. *

*Even before she became a Psychotherapist, Stacy was a spiritual seeker and passionate about her own healing journey. Areas of study for Stacy include Kabbalah, Buddhism, and ACIM (A Course in Miracles). Because she is so passionate about her work, she cannot resist the desire to upgrade her skills in an ongoing way through reading, attending workshops, and teaching. Stacy feels that all these efforts contribute to her growth as a well-rounded person, a therapist, and a spiritual being.  *

*Check out Stacy's website: [www.ameetingofminds.ca](http://www.ameetingofminds.ca)<http://www.ameetingofminds.ca/>*

---

 

 Topics: [Conflict Resolution](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/conflict-resolution), [Happy Relationships](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happy-relationships), [Marriage Issues](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-issues), [Breaking Habits](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/breaking-habits), [Emotional Safety](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-safety), [Emotional Connection](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-connection), [Empathy](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/empathy), [Getting the Love you Want](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/getting-the-love-you-want), [personal growth](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/personal-growth), [Receiving Love](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/receiving-love), [The Blame Game](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/the-blame-game), [Divorce Proof](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/divorce-proof), [Childhood Trauma](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/childhood-trauma), [Long Term Relationships](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/long-term-relationships), [Online Therapy](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/online-therapy), [Active Listening](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/active-listening), [Blame](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/blame), [Shame](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/shame), [Criticism](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/criticism), [Defensive Partner](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/defensive-partner), [Defensiveness](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/defensiveness)

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- [Mental Health (22)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mental-health)
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- [Online Couples Therapy (21)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/online-couples-therapy)
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- [Marriage 101 (20)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-101)
- [Human Connection (19)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/human-connection)
- [Imago Dialogue (19)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/imago-dialogue)
- [Marriage Problems (19)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-problems)
- [Sexual Communication (19)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-communication)
- [Stress Relief (19)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/stress-relief)
- [Forgiveness (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/forgiveness)
- [Love and Marriage (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/love-and-marriage)
- [Online Therapy (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/online-therapy)
- [Relationships 101 (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationships-101)
- [Self Love (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/self-love)
- [Sexual Desire (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-desire)
- [therapy (18)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/therapy)
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- [Long Lasting Love (17)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/long-lasting-love)
- [Couple Goals (16)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/couple-goals)
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- [Emotional Intelligence (16)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-intelligence)
- [Relationship Goals (16)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-goals)
- [Sexual Trauma (16)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-trauma)
- [Better Communication (15)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/better-communication)
- [Childhood Trauma (15)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/childhood-trauma)
- [Couples Communication (15)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/couples-communication)
- [Healing Trauma (15)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healing-trauma)
- [Sex Therapy (15)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sex-therapy)
- [Anxiety (14)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/anxiety)
- [Breaking Habits (14)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/breaking-habits)
- [Finding Love Again (14)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/finding-love-again)
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- [Male Sexuality (14)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/male-sexuality)
- [Marriage Therapy (14)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-therapy)
- [Active Listening (13)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/active-listening)
- [Listening (13)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/listening)
- [Relationship Communication (13)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-communication)
- [Adulting (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/adulting)
- [Empathy (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/empathy)
- [Family Culture (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-culture)
- [Female Sexuality (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/female-sexuality)
- [Life Lessons (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/life-lessons)
- [Marriage Communication (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-communication)
- [Marriage Matters (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-matters)
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- [Relationship Struggles (12)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-struggles)
- [Couples Therapy Would Be Good (11)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/couples-therapy-would-be-good)
- [Relationship Problems (11)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-problems)
- [Sex Myths (11)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sex-myths)
- [Cheating (10)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/cheating)
- [Dating your Partner (10)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/dating-your-partner)
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- [Soulmates (10)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/soulmates)
- [Better Relationships (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/better-relationships)
- [Couples Quality Time (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/couples-quality-time)
- [Emotional Intimacy (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-intimacy)
- [Erotic Language (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/erotic-language)
- [Intentional Dialogue (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/intentional-dialogue)
- [Relationship Issues (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-issues)
- [Trauma (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trauma)
- [family therapy (9)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-therapy)
- [Acts of Kindness (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/acts-of-kindness)
- [Emotional Healing (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-healing)
- [Healthy Boundaries (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healthy-boundaries)
- [Mental Fitness (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mental-fitness)
- [Trauma Healing (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trauma-healing)
- [Trauma Therapy (8)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trauma-therapy)
- [Communication (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/communication)
- [Couples Retreat (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/couples-retreat)
- [Defense Mechanisms (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/defense-mechanisms)
- [Erotic Intelligence (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/erotic-intelligence)
- [Growth Mindset (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/growth-mindset)
- [Healing From Trauma (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healing-from-trauma)
- [Holiday Fun (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/holiday-fun)
- [Holiday Stress (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/holiday-stress)
- [Racial Trauma (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/racial-trauma)
- [Receiving Love (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/receiving-love)
- [Relationship Survival Skills (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-survival-skills)
- [Self Esteem (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/self-esteem)
- [Unhealthy Love (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/unhealthy-love)
- [Vulnerability (7)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/vulnerability)
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- [Better Sex (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/better-sex)
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- [Chronic Trauma (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/chronic-trauma)
- [Communication in Families (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/communication-in-families)
- [Complex Trauma (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/complex-trauma)
- [Connection (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/connection)
- [Divorce (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/divorce)
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- [Emotional Needs (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-needs)
- [Expressing Love (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/expressing-love)
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- [Love and Acceptance (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/love-and-acceptance)
- [Married for Life (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/married-for-life)
- [Racial Bias (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/racial-bias)
- [Relationship Rut (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-rut)
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- [Sexual Intimacy (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-intimacy)
- [Sexual Pleasure (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-pleasure)
- [Toxic Relationships (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/toxic-relationships)
- [Trauma Informed (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trauma-informed)
- [Trauma Recovery (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trauma-recovery)
- [intimacy (6)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/intimacy)
- [Acute Trauma (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/acute-trauma)
- [Adult Relationships (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/adult-relationships)
- [Authentic Life (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/authentic-life)
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- [Eroticism (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/eroticism)
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- [Happy (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happy)
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- [Interracial marriage (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/interracial-marriage)
- [Love More (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/love-more)
- [Marriage Myths (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/marriage-myths)
- [Mental Health Awareness (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mental-health-awareness)
- [Mental Health Matters (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mental-health-matters)
- [Micro Cheating (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/micro-cheating)
- [Personal Boundaries (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/personal-boundaries)
- [Race Relations (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/race-relations)
- [Relationship Stages (5)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-stages)
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- [Anger (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/anger)
- [Authentic Relationships (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/authentic-relationships)
- [Authentic Self (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/authentic-self)
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- [Body Image (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/body-image)
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- [Coronavirus (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/coronavirus)
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- [Dating Advice (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/dating-advice)
- [Dating Tips (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/dating-tips)
- [Family Mission Statement (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-mission-statement)
- [Family Stress (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-stress)
- [Female Sexual Pleasure (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/female-sexual-pleasure)
- [Holiday Planning (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/holiday-planning)
- [Living Fully (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/living-fully)
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- [Money Issues (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/money-issues)
- [Monogamy Agreement (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/monogamy-agreement)
- [Parenting Tips (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/parenting-tips)
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- [Racial Issues (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/racial-issues)
- [Racial Tension (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/racial-tension)
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- [Sadness (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sadness)
- [Sex Education (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sex-education)
- [Sexual Fluidity (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-fluidity)
- [Sexual Health (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-health)
- [Sexual Problems (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-problems)
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- [Teen Sexuality (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/teen-sexuality)
- [Toxic People (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/toxic-people)
- [unconscious racism (4)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/unconscious-racism)
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- [Adulting 101 (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/adulting-101)
- [Affair (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/affair)
- [Angry (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/angry)
- [Apology (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/apology)
- [Art Of Love (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/art-of-love)
- [Authenticity (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/authenticity)
- [Bids For Connection (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/bids-for-connection)
- [Black Mental Health (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/black-mental-health)
- [Blended Family (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/blended-family)
- [Boundaries (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/boundaries)
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- [Community (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/community)
- [Consensual Nonmonogamy (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/consensual-nonmonogamy)
- [Digital Emotional Intelligence (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/digital-emotional-intelligence)
- [Digital IQ (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/digital-iq)
- [Empathize with your partner (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/empathize-with-your-partner)
- [Family Goals (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-goals)
- [Family Time (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-time)
- [Fear (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/fear)
- [Feeling Lonely (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/feeling-lonely)
- [Flirting (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/flirting)
- [Forgive (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/forgive)
- [Forgiveness Is Key (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/forgiveness-is-key)
- [Gay Pride (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/gay-pride)
- [Gender Bias (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/gender-bias)
- [Grow Together (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/grow-together)
- [Growth (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/growth)
- [Growth and Development (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/growth-and-development)
- [Happiness (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happiness)
- [Happy in love (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happy-in-love)
- [Ideal Partner (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/ideal-partner)
- [Imago Insights (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/imago-insights)
- [Interracial Relationships Workshop (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/interracial-relationships-workshop)
- [Invisible Abuse (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/invisible-abuse)
- [LGBTQ+ (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/lgbtq)
- [Lasting Relationships (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/lasting-relationships)
- [Loving Family (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/loving-family)
- [Mindful Connection (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mindful-connection)
- [Mindful Relationships (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/mindful-relationships)
- [Money Fights (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/money-fights)
- [Monthly Digest (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/monthly-digest)
- [Negativity (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/negativity)
- [New Year Goals (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/new-year-goals)
- [New Year's Goals (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/new-years-goals)
- [PTSD (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/ptsd)
- [Panic Attacks (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/panic-attacks)
- [Parenthood Problems (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/parenthood-problems)
- [Parenting (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/parenting)
- [Perfect Partner (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/perfect-partner)
- [Racism (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/racism)
- [Relationship Red Flags (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationship-red-flags)
- [Relationships in Recovery (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/relationships-in-recovery)
- [Sex Problems (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sex-problems)
- [Sex Therapy 101 (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sex-therapy-101)
- [Sexual Identity (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/sexual-identity)
- [Step Family (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/step-family)
- [Systemic Racism (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/systemic-racism)
- [Trust (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trust)
- [Trust Your Partner (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/trust-your-partner)
- [White Fragility (3)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/white-fragility)
- [Acceptance (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/acceptance)
- [Addictions (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/addictions)
- [Affair Recovery (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/affair-recovery)
- [Anger Management (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/anger-management)
- [Apologize (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/apologize)
- [Attitude of Gratitude (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/attitude-of-gratitude)
- [Bad Breakup (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/bad-breakup)
- [Betrayal (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/betrayal)
- [Blame (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/blame)
- [Building Resilience (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/building-resilience)
- [CNM (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/cnm)
- [CPTSD (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/cptsd)
- [Change (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/change)
- [Codependent (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/codependent)
- [Consensual (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/consensual)
- [Creating a Better Marriage (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/creating-a-better-marriage)
- [Criticism (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/criticism)
- [Dating (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/dating)
- [Demi sexuality (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/demi-sexuality)
- [Depression (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/depression)
- [Desire (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/desire)
- [Dream Relationship (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/dream-relationship)
- [Emotional Abuse (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotional-abuse)
- [Emotionally Available (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/emotionally-available)
- [Fall in Love Again (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/fall-in-love-again)
- [Family (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family)
- [Family Communication (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/family-communication)
- [Forgive Me (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/forgive-me)
- [Forgive Yourself (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/forgive-yourself)
- [Gay (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/gay)
- [Gratitude (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/gratitude)
- [Grief (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/grief)
- [Growing Old Together (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/growing-old-together)
- [Happiness Tips (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happiness-tips)
- [Happy Brain (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/happy-brain)
- [Healing (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healing)
- [Healthy Brain (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healthy-brain)
- [Healthy Sex (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healthy-sex)
- [Healthy Sex Life (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/healthy-sex-life)
- [Imago Mentions (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/imago-mentions)
- [Infidelity (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/infidelity)
- [Interracial Relationships Matter (2)](https://blog.imagorelationshipswork.com/tag/interracial-relationships-matter)
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