There is no time like the present to learn to manage change in a relationship, and this year has been riddled with changes (social, economic, technological, and personal) that have been challenging to say the least.
All changes impact a relationship. Learning to duck and dive and adjust when life happens will help you be less fearful when change comes knocking on your door.
Like every great building, relationships need a strong foundation from which to grow. If your relationship is already tumultuous, working through change can be challenging. Building a base of trust in your relationship early on is the way to go. If this hasn’t happened, now is a perfect time to start.
Try some of the following tips to build a strong foundation:
-
Talk through issues and disagreements
-
Listen to each other with curiosity
-
Be kind
-
Be honest (even if the truth is not what your partner wants to hear)
Remember, love is powerful; it can endure. And most important to building enduring trust is to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Be Extra Patient During Stressful Changes
During a move, a new baby, a death in the family, or a new job, lather on patience extra thick. Try a few of these tips to help:
-
Go for a walk
-
Reassure one another
-
Avoid dictating each other’s processing of change
-
Don’t demand your partner respond to change the way you do
Each of you may want to talk about how or why you react the way you do, talk about the hurts, fears, and insecurities that shape your reactions. This alone can help relieve a lot of the stress.
Stay Physical With Each Other
This doesn’t mean just having sex. Try some of the following tips:
-
Hold hands
-
Snuggle
-
Touch each other as a physical symbol (you’re present and ready to do the work.)
Often change can produce resentment, which can bleed into the bedroom. Allow yourself the pleasure of sharing one another’s bodies, let your guard down, and re-connect.
If you are both spiritual or religious, try the following:
-
Pray together
-
Do yoga together
-
Share inspirational gems with your partner that speak to you
Send kind texts, remind your partner that you love them. Life as a couple is sweeter when you know your partner has your back, that you are not alone and that your loved one is rooting for you in and outside of the relationship.
Do Something Familiar Together
Leap off the overly stressed and serious bandwagon to find the time to get back to the essence of your relationship with your partner. Find a thread of familiarity you both enjoy. Try these following tips:
-
Something simple like coffee together in the morning
-
Talk about funny memories
-
Look through old photos together
Change will come whether you are ready or not. However, learning to deal with it together will make life richer while deepening your relationship and better prepared for the inevitable changes to come.
If you're struggling with going through changes in your relationship, we're here to help. Check out our Imago Relationship Workshops and Imago Relationship Therapy.
Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training and Imago Insights Education.
Connect. Transform. Thrive.
This blog post was written by Mara Fisher, LCSW, MCC.
Mara is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Master Certified Coach. She is also a Certified Imago Therapist and Advanced Imago Therapist.
Mara's career has grown out of a gift of intuition – which she's been aware of since childhood – and a natural inclination for using that gift to help empower others. Guiding and coaching feel as adventurous to her as the way she's lived her life. Born in New York City, Mara took European trips in her youth and has lived in England, France, and New Mexico in the United States.
Mara believes the boldness and confidence she gained by taking risks and expanding boundaries have contributed to her personal and professional success. She loves seeing the joy in her clients when they find the courage to challenge themselves and transform their lives as well.
Mara has been a perpetual student, always exploring her inner self by learning new skills and techniques that help her to understand herself, other cultures, and what it is that makes us human. She applies that learning to enable her clients to live fully in the present, face the challenges in their futures, and live their dreams.
For nearly three decades, Mara has focused on methods that help her clients realize that they already have answers to their questions. Instead of letting them give their power to her because she can often intuit what is going on in their lives, she can help them claim their power and solve their own problems.
Today Mara serves clients all over the globe through telephone, zoom and email communications. Her approach with each individual is uniquely shaped by who they are and their circumstances and needs. Tools and techniques selected for each client come from the expertise she's built during her career.
Check out Mara's website too!
