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What does the word Home mean to you? Does home equate to nurture or love? Is home filled with healthy relationships? Or, is it simply a permanent place where one resides?
We'd like to think of the word home as a place where we feel safe and can lay our head down after a long day at work. Home is a cozy place where we can cuddle up with our loved ones on the couch, where we can laugh and play games, or be nurtured when we are sick. Home is a place where relationships grow stronger! This type of home sounds amazing, right? [Read more...]
There are so many positive suggestions about managing conflict and how to divorce-proof your marriage. As an Imago Relationship therapist for over 25 years, I have seen many marriages go the distance, and there are definitely some key things that the marriages that make it have in common.
Did you know that money is one of the top areas of conflict for couples? Maybe not, but when you think about money issues couples experience doesn't it seem like the problem is simply about savings vs. spending?
Well, it's not always easy when we talk about money with our loved ones. In fact, there are 10 top areas where couples fight over money. [Read more...]
Life is not about dwelling in the past or living with regret. We all make mistakes and the only thing you can do is learn from them and move forward. Life is short and you owe it to yourself to be happy and pursue the life you imagine for yourself.
Don’t give up hope for there are great people in this world capable of giving you love, compassion, fidelity, and trust. Sometimes things don’t work out because it just wasn’t the right person or the right fit. You only want to be with someone who truly wants to be with you anyway, something that feels right, safe and comforting. [Read more...]
During the time our marriage teetered between renewal and divorce, we were visiting a book store when we happened on a book about how astrology affects relationships. Just for fun, we opened to the page where our two astrological signs intersected. Then we read, “You will destroy your relationship unless you stop the unrelenting negative scrutiny of each other.” We were stunned. And then we laughed. We knew the book had gotten it right.
For a time, we were quiet and separate as we turned our thoughts around those words. That sentence fell like a bombshell because we knew it was true. The more we thought about it, the more we realized we had to stop what we now call the “invisible abuse” of belittling, negating, and undermining each other. [Read more...]
Perhaps it is time to "declutter your life". [Read more...]
One of the best things you can do for your marriage and for your overall happiness is to actively cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It requires some dedicated focus, but it’s much easier than you think!
Here’s an example why:
Last year we decided to paint our house gray, so we looked at many shades of gray at the store. We even compared all the gray houses in our town, and then one day I noticed the perfect shade of gray on a parked car - so I took a picture! I was relieved and never thought about finding that perfect color again. Yet, my brain took over and for the next two weeks, I somehow noticed 10 gray cars.
The point of the story is that you’ll always find more of what you search for in life, and your brain is very helpful in noticing things you want to pay attention to and looking for evidence to support what you already believe. This action in our brain is called confirmation bias, and it relates to our personal relationships as well. [Read more...]
Here are 10 items important to building a healthy relationship. [Read more...]
Is anything more painful than betrayal? Perhaps not, at least on the topic of relationships. Though common (one fourth to one half, depending on who you ask), this type of rupture is excruciating, and often fatal to the relationship.
Most often, the betrayal seems insurmountable at first. Reactions are understandably strong and absolute; e.g., “I could never be with you again”. “I will always be angry and resentful”.
Healing and recovering from an affair does take time, but it is possible if both people are willing to do the work. How long it takes depends on a number of variables, but I have found on average that two years is a fair estimate. Obviously, for some, it takes longer, and others dig deep and work it out sooner. Much of it depends on motivation and willingness to listen and understand. [Read more...]
Self-care refers to things done by you for your own well-being and comfort.
Small, frequent, and practical acts of self-care can literally change your brain, making it less hospitable to depression and more welcoming to feelings of well being. [Read more...]
As a sex therapist, I focus a lot in the area of male sexuality with patients as well as teaching classes online and around the United States. In my travels, I’ve come to realize that we need to take a deeper look at male sexuality and challenge gender bias against men and stop sexual shaming. In my experience, by helping men and women understand the landscape of male sexuality, it can reduce the amount of conflict in relationships.
In the last few years, there’s been a growing movement among sex therapists and researchers to really understand men’s sexuality—not what it’s “supposed to be,” but rather how it manifests, where its roots lie, and how to deal with the conflicts it presents, not only in therapy with men, but with couples too. [Read more...]
Life can get so busy and with all the technology all around us, it can become increasingly hard to keep our real life vs. our digital life in balance. That's why increasing our digital IQ is important, but it's not always easy. Having strong digital emotional intelligence using kindness, empathy and compassion can ensure you have more peace and harmony in your life.
Here are 8 tips to help you build more digital emotional intelligence. [Read more...]
We hope you've enjoyed reading about health and wellness from our amazing Imago authors this month. Be sure to share!